Letting Go of Unrealistic Expectations and Embracing What Is - iBelieve Truth: A Devotional for Women - August 5, 2026

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"Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches." - 1 Corinthians 7:17 

As a biological and adoptive Mom to six kids, I find myself often struggling to let go of unrealistic expectations for myself as the story our family is living is a beautiful one, but the ‘happily ever after’ we like to assign to adoption stories is not the actual reality I am living. Most days, the love I share with my children is chosen. It’s a hard-fought-for kind of love that requires intentionality, prayer, grace, and commitment. The truth is, I never expected that there would be seasons when loving all my kids would be so much more a decision based on a commitment than an outpouring of felt motherly love. 

Grief accompanies unmet expectations. I have had to grieve what I thought adoption would look like and feel like and trade it in for a much more grace-filled set of expectations. I have had to embrace a view that doesn’t put a strict timeline on secure attachment, that embraces God’s grace and forgiveness for me as a Mom when I have not had the patience my child really needed, or when the love they needed was hard for me to conjure. I’ve needed a heart that says, “Here I am, use me, Jesus.” As I’ve lived in the gap between what should have been and what now is. I must reach out to Jesus for the strength, tools, and love I need for the work he has called me to. 

Parenting through an adoption is complicated, but when we let go of our unrealistic expectations for ourselves and our children, we leave space for God to work. More than anything, we have to remain faithful to the calling God has put on our lives. I must remain faithful and dedicated to my family even when things feel chaotic and hard. You must remain faithful to the work God has called you to when the day-to-day grows harder than what you dreamed up for yourself. 

There are so many applications for the spiritual practice of contentment. Contentment is a state of deep satisfaction, inner peace, and acceptance of your current circumstances. It bridges the gap between what you have and what you want, allowing you to enjoy the present moment without the constant need for more. 

Jesus embodied contentment as he never accumulated wealth or property. He never married, held political office, or was given any official title.   His fulfillment was derived entirely from doing the Father’s work here on Earth. When our lives don’t match our expectations, we can be reminded of Jesus example. As long as we are dedicated to doing the Father’s work and are faithful to the calling he has placed on our lives, we can live with peace under his banner of grace. 

If you are struggling to accept the circumstances of your life, remember that God did not call you to greatness; He called you to a life of faithfulness. Letting go of comparison, to self-ish ambition, pride, perfectionism, or whatever it is that seeks to steal your joy is the first step toward living with holy contentment. God’s grace is enough to allow us to persevere in our calling. Let go of the expectations that are holding you back from joyfully living in God’s grace as you walk out the call he has placed on your life. 

Let’s pray ...

Father,
Help me to let go of the unrealistic expectations I have been holding onto that have stolen my joy. Free me from pride, self-ish ambition, perfectionism, comparison, covetness, and all thoughts that distract me from living with holy contentment. Allow me to embrace your grace, as in you, there is no condemnation. Renew the joy of my salvation.
Amen. 

What truth from today’s devotional is God using to encourage your heart? Share your reflection and join our conversation in the iBelieve Truth Devotional Forum.

Photo Credit: ©Pexels/Jill Wellington

Amanda Idleman is a writer whose passion is encouraging others to live joyfully. She writes devotions for Your Nightly Prayer, Crosswalk Couples Devotional, Your Daily Prayer, and more. She has work published with Her View from Home, on the MOPS Blog, and is a regular contributor for Crosswalk.com, Biblestudytools.com, and Christianity.com. She has most recently published a devotional, Comfort: A 30 Day Devotional Exploring God's Heart of Love for Mommas, alongside her husband’s companion devotional, Shepherd. You can find out more about Amanda on her Facebook Page or follow her on Instagram.

Related Resource: How Faith Finds Us When Life Takes a Detour

Joining us this week is worship leader turned viral comedian Heather Land. After growing up in the shadow of her mother’s decades-long addiction, Heather reflects on how this painful season—alongside her unexpected shift from the worship stage to the world of comedy—taught her that while our paths may take unforeseen turns, our core calling to encourage and uplift others remains constant.

Later in the episode, we’ll hear from Rachel Kessler, an Episcopal priest and Kenyon College chaplain who completed her PhD in medieval studies at the University of Toronto before pivoting to seminary after hitting academic burnout, then built a following as the “Nerdy Priest” on TikTok after a student secretly downloaded the app on her phone. 

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