New Life LIVE: September 23, 2026

Guest (Male): Welcome to the New Life Live podcast. We hope to provide help and hope in your life through God's Word, counselors, and psychologists as we answer questions from listeners who call with the challenges of life. Let's go to today's episode.
Brian Perez: Hello and welcome to New Life Live. I'm your host, Brian Perez. 1-800-229-3000 is the number to call us today, and we're only going to be in the studio for one hour, so call us ASAP. Answering your questions today, we've got licensed professional clinical counselor and president of New Life Ministries Becky Brown, as well as clinical psychologist Dr. Alice Benton. Always good to be on with you too, Becky. What's on your mind to start us off?
Becky Brown: Well, I was thinking when you said call us ASAP, I would say call 800-229-3000. But that's just the way I think, because we do want to talk to you. Alice, you always talk about screens and the digital world that we live in, and I just recently heard a podcast about the impact that artificial intelligence, AI, is making in relationships. The number one thing that AI does right now is it's replacing therapy and connection with other humans, which should startle you. You don't have to be afraid of it; you just need to know about it. But the one thing that AI cannot do, it can't do rupture and repair. That is something that we've been talking about here for a long time, because we hear the calls about rupture in relationships, whether it is divorce, or estrangement from adult kids, or broken trust, betrayal. There's all kinds of ways that as humans we are ruptured in our relationships. I think of some of those really tough calls where the people that are closest to the caller just have been harmed in great ways, and so then the question is, how do we repair? When you think about our relationships, they are unique. Every one of us has different ways of connecting to people. We talk about those kind of things, but what about you? What do you do with rupture and repair? I'm going to challenge you that I don't want you to be thinking about what the other person needs to do, because we all got that figured out, right? It's like, "Yeah, if you would only X, Y, and Z, PDQ, ASAP, right Brian? Then we would repair this relationship." But I want to give you a few ideas. So you start with thinking about where you're defending, and it can sound like, "I can see that I hurt you," or "I was wrong." That's a really hard one to say sometimes. Or "I'm sorry. What can I do differently?" Here's one that I think is really helpful: "Help me understand what I did wrong," because you're coming from a place of openness. And here's the other thing: repair doesn't happen instantly. We're not looking for Band-Aids. We're not looking for "I'm sorry, let's move on." It's really about that awareness of how are we building structure into our relationships where we can have these honest conversations. And repair takes time. We can't demand that somebody immediately trusts us again. We've talked to so many couples over the years where betrayal has been part of it, and the biggest fear is we're just going to go right back to where we were and pretend like nothing happened. Well, that's not the way we would talk about that. We would want you to have clarity, open, honest conversations. In Psalm 147:3, the Psalmist writes, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." I love that picture because God doesn't pretend the wound isn't there. He meets us in the brokenness and begins the work of healing. And perhaps that's one of the most important things we can learn: that repair doesn't require perfection; it requires humility. When you think about those robots, AI, they're all about there's no consciousness to them. They're literally just spitting back out, and they're not feeling what the message is doing to the person that's engaging. So if you've got some ruptures that you need to repair, you can call us today and get started in that direction. Or maybe you're just hurting about it. Brian, where should they call?
Brian Perez: 1-800-229-3000. To find out more information about New Life or to order any of the resources mentioned on today's program, call 1-800-NEW-LIFE. Now back to New Life Live. Downloading the New Life app puts thousands of powerful faith-based resources at your fingertips, from live broadcasts and archived podcasts to daily devotionals, articles, and more. You'll find expert guidance for whatever you're facing. Download the app today for your iPhone or the other one, Android. Yes, I forgot, and that's the one I have. I don't know why I forgot. 1-800-229-3000 is the number to call us today, and we're going to begin our time on the phones with Bruni in Philadelphia. Hi there Bruni, welcome to New Life Live.
Bruni: Hi guys. You make my day every single day. And when you guys laugh, it's so contagious. I just need you guys every single day. Anyway, I support you as much as I can, that's for sure. My question is, my granddaughter called me the other day, the one I raised but now for one year she's living with her mom now. She's 17. She called me, "Mama, I think my father is trying to contact me." I have never told her the truth about why her father is not in her life and the court gave her and her brother to me, and he's not supposed to see the kids ever. We haven't known about him for years, but now that she's on Instagram and all that stuff, I just don't know when she say I just only say to him, "Please, do not say yes because he is too dangerous to be in your life." And she say, "Don't worry Mama, I won't." But you know that I know the questions are going to start coming and I just don't know if she's prepared or not to know the truth about her father.
Dr. Alice Benton: Bruni, you're trying to protect her, and now you're uncertain is information necessary, even though it will unsettle her life to know just how dangerous her father is? This is a tough position you are in. Is her father your son?
Bruni: Yes.
Dr. Alice Benton: And her mother, does her mother not know all the information, or has she agreed not to tell the kids to let you do that instead?
Bruni: The mother is a very unstable person, so I cannot count with her at all.
Becky Brown: But the granddaughter is living with her, Bruni?
Bruni: One year ago, now she moved with her because of certain circumstances that were going on in my life. So she went to live with her for the first time. So she realized now why she was with me, because her mother is very unstable too. But she's in a little town in the middle of nowhere that the high school is very good for her, so that's why she doesn't want to come back to live with me.
Dr. Alice Benton: And Bruni, what are a couple of the headlines of what is so dangerous about her father?
Bruni: He is a very ugly person. Anyway, the worst is he doesn't respect people, he abuses children. And I don't even know if she was abused when she was real, real little, because she lived for one year with him and with the mother for one year. So I don't even know if it happened. But I see things in her that are a little unstable, and I have to counsel her a lot, and she trusts a lot and all that stuff. But I can see that something is in the background.
Dr. Alice Benton: Yeah, you see that trauma impacted her. You don't know what that trauma is, except for losing her parents, very unstable parents, but you don't know if she was abused because you know your son is capable of sexually abusing children. Is he in prison?
Bruni: He's been in prison in and out. But I haven't heard from him for probably twelve or seven years. I said goodbye to him when I found something really ugly about him and haven't heard from him since. I told him I never want him in my life again. It was too much pain to comprehend. And I needed my mentality to go to raise the children that he left behind.
Becky Brown: You know, I think she has an idea in her head about what her father is like, because it's not like a vacuum. It's not like you raised them and every child wonders about their birth story, their father, their mother if they're not in their life. And I think at 17, I think if she hasn't had a direct conversation either from you, Bruni, or somebody that she trusts, I think it's time now to not do the full disclosure where you tell her everything, but just trying to help her understand. And then equip her with tools to block any contact, anything like that. Have you ever had that conversation with her just or you just don't talk about it?
Bruni: No, no, no. I had that conversation with her so she can keep herself safe. And now that she's living with her mom, that's when she's allowed to have all that on the internet and that's how he's been able. He even tried to come out with another last name. But she's very smart, she's a good girl, and she realized right away and she asked me, "That's him right?" I say, "Yeah, that's one of the last names that he will use."
Becky Brown: Well good job, Bruni, that you did that. She blocked him.
Dr. Alice Benton: And Bruni, what is your worst fear if you reveal the ugly truth about him?
Bruni: It will hurt her so much. The same way that he hurt me and it was so intolerable, I had to cut my own son out of my life. Exactly. I don't think she will be able to stand it. I think she will collapse.
Dr. Alice Benton: You don't think she can tolerate the truth. Has she been suicidal, struggled with self-harm or substance abuse in her life?
Bruni: Not substance abuse, she's not that kind of a girl. But she was going through that in the 10th grade. She's going to be graduating this year, but in the 10th grade she was going through that. The authority came into my house and talked to her and we went to the children's hospital and this and that. And she had good grades and everything, she wanted to be a teacher. I mean, she is just a warrior, even with everything, because I had to keep her sheltered from a lot of pain for so many years when I was having her.
Dr. Alice Benton: You have sacrificed your life to protect her from the harm your son causes. And so I think it even feels like it would be a betrayal to then give her information that might destabilize her. And I think you are acknowledging that that 10th grade and hospitalization, it was because of suicidal thinking.
Bruni: Yes.
Dr. Alice Benton: Did she attempt to take her life or to harm herself?
Bruni: She talked about it. And because she talk about it to a friend of her at the high school, then the friend's parent was a counselor to call the police on my granddaughter and they came right away. The experience was very helpful, but still I know that she is dragging certain stuff that she hasn't talked to me about it.
Dr. Alice Benton: What a good friend that person that helped call the police, and then what an amazing grandmother and stand-in mother you have been and you've suffered a lot to do this for your granddaughter and to protect everybody from your son. So I'm going to make a couple of suggestions. And I'm so glad you told us that she's at a risk for suicide and so you do need to be incredibly careful how and when and what length of this unsettling information to provide to her. I'd imagine you've had some therapists working with your family. What I would do is either contact one of our therapists from the network, our New Life network, because they have dealt with these kind of incredibly complicated situations. So we have good therapists that can help you with this. Or a previous family therapist that your granddaughter trusts. And I would suggest you have some preparation sessions with that therapist. I think then your granddaughter should have some preparation sessions so that a professional can help determine what does she already know, because she probably knows more than you think. And then what more does she need to know? Sadly Bruni, she does need to know in my opinion that her father has abused young children, because I think you're right: the likelihood that she was abused is pretty high. Now she may not have conscious memory of it, but bodies hold that information of abuse. People aren't suicidal for no reason. And perhaps the trauma of losing her dad and having an unstable mom, that might account for the suicidal thinking. But there are enough signs that it's worth looking into. And that is why revealing the truth that her dad is a child abuser and carefully sussing out has that potentially happened to her, but I would have a professional guide every single step of it. And on your side I would prepare with fasting and prayer over several days' time span because evil has a big foothold in your son's life and of course it wants to destroy his children's lives. But you, you are the one standing in the gap. You said she's a warrior. Well, I know where she got it from: from you. So you have already done an amazing job. Let a professional carry some of this weight and let that professional determine how and when to reveal this, and it is for her good. There's a saying, Bruni, that reality is always our friend, and reality can hurt so much, reality can be very disruptive. But it helps us to know the truth. And with someone good like you in her corner and a good clinician, she will be able to process this information and learn how to tolerate it. And I think it will actually be a blessing to her in the long run to know the truth. Because she already knows he's dangerous. Kids when parents abandon them or are cut out of their lives, kids almost always assume it's because of me. Daddy didn't want me, and mom's unstable because of me because I was too hard to raise. And so because those unhealthy beliefs have probably been in her mind at some point, that's also another benefit to revealing the truth.
Brian Perez: Where do kids get those ideas from? I mean, why is it in them from such an early age that it must be because of them?
Dr. Alice Benton: I think partially, this is a psychoanalysis viewpoint, but I think it holds water: because they have to rely on their parents, they cannot tolerate believing their parents are bad people. Because if they don't have their parents, it's a life and death situation for a young child as far as they can understand it. And so it is intolerable to believe my dad is an evil person. It is tolerable to believe I must be a bad kid and that's why my dad doesn't want me. So that seems to be the human child default belief when there are problems between parents and children. Bruni, thanks for calling in today to New Life Live. We're going to be praying for you and your granddaughter, and we have an article on our website, newlife.com, called "What to do when someone is suicidal." You can look that up there at newlife.com or you can call us and we'll send you the link via email. Bruni, God bless you. Thanks for calling today. 1-800-229-3000 is our number. Now we'll talk to Kimmy in Elkridge, Maryland. How can we help you today?
Kimmy: I have a 16-year-old that I just found out was cutting himself last night. After sitting down with him and talking, I realized that he told me that he's had suicidal thoughts for a while. He's had two suicidal dreams. He said one where he kind of saw us getting the news like his family and we all go up crying, but he didn't feel anything. And then he said the second dream, which happened the other day, was that he saw us getting the news again and but he was filled with regret. So he's been having issues at school, so I kind of thought something was wrong. And then I asked him several times over the summer if he was okay.
Dr. Alice Benton: Kimmy, we're going to interrupt because we're running down on time to the commercial. Let me just give you a reassurance: the fact that he's being honest with you means so much. That's very hopeful, and it means he trusts you, and you've already taken some good right steps, and we'll help you with what to do next on the other side.
Brian Perez: Yeah, don't hang up Kimmy. We'll talk to you. 1-800-229-3000 is the number to call today. To find out more information about New Life or to order any of the resources mentioned on today's program, visit newlife.com. Now back to New Life Live. And back to Kimmy. You still with us Kimmy?
Kimmy: Yeah.
Becky Brown: Kimmy, you said that just last night you discovered him cutting?
Kimmy: No, evidence. I saw blood and then I asked him what was this, and then he tried to deflect and I said, "Tell me," and then he finally told me after several minutes.
Becky Brown: Okay, so here's the thing. He's in a lot of pain. That's why people cut. That's what we know. People cut because it's releasing pain. And with this other ideation that's going on in him right now, everything from the dreams that you described to just his dealing with suicidal thoughts, this is an emergency situation. I would recommend that he see someone as soon as possible, if not this afternoon. The reason why I say that is because of this long term. This wasn't just last night. This isn't one crisis that just occurred, not that that doesn't have emergency written all over it. But there are people that can help him through these big feelings. A lot of times when we see cutting, it is very alarming because there's blood and they're hurting themselves. But then combine that with him thinking of suicide, we have to address this right away. And so Kimmy, I would even go as far as to say to call either the 988 number, or if you have a family therapist, or we can direct you to somebody. This is a today we have to take action, and even if it's a call and you talk to somebody, we have to start it in that direction. We can't ignore all of that's going on in your son's life right now.
Dr. Alice Benton: Kimmy, there are a couple of factors I want you to keep in mind and with the help of a clinician start to talk about these things with your son. One is there's a tragic social contagion aspect to both cutting and suicidal thinking. And so if your son has been exposed to that, even just in the media, but certainly in his school or in his social group, sometimes there is experimentation with it that does not necessarily relate to a severe depression. But I certainly wouldn't assume that it's just social contagion, because it's not usually just that. The second part is entertainment content, meaning if he is playing very violent video games, if he's watching violent movies, shows, shorts, if he's watching people, influencers, who are talking about their own suicidal experience, that can also influence a teenager to try. Thirdly, think about the psychological ruptures he has experienced. What are the major losses, difficulties, traumas that he has been through, because of which this may be a cry for help because he's hurting and he doesn't know what to do about the difficult things he's been through? Lastly, I think it is quite possible that there's a spiritual attack, usually in combination with one of these other things. And so I think it can be a spiritual warfare issue where we know the enemy wants to kill, steal, and destroy. And if he can get us to be suicidal and to think that that's the next best solution. I've talked with many people suffering from suicide who believe, "This is how I will unburden my family, because I'm such a tough kid to deal with. So for the good of my family, I'm going to eliminate myself." For the spiritual warfare side of it, I would certainly double prayer efforts, I would get a prayer team, I would bring in the pastor that you trust, and I would start fasting. I would go into an immediate 24-hour fast if you physically can handle doing that. Lastly, some parents wonder, and I'm not hearing this from you Kimmy, but parents wonder, "Is this manipulation? Is he just trying to get something from me?" Manipulation can be a part of it, but as Becky's pointing out, we have to assume this is real, this is dangerous, and the rates of depression, suicidal attempts, and suicide completions are rising dramatically in the teenage age group. And we know it is linked to a high level of digital entertainment. We know it's linked. It's not causal, but it is linked. And so you don't have to remember everything I'm saying. You can listen to the recording back, and if his father is involved in his life, I want his father to hear what Becky and I are saying as well. But let a professional guide you and your family through how to apply these things that we are talking about, because the main solutions to suicidal ideation are getting safe, removing the means of suicide that your son might have been considering, and talking about it and finding out if any of these factors are playing a part in increasing his suicidal ideation. And sometimes even a kid needs a couple days in a psychiatric ward. And sometimes just getting on the right medication can eliminate suicidal thinking because antidepressants are powerful and they can be very effective when used correctly under the right psychiatric guidance.
Becky Brown: I think we covered it, and I just can't stress enough that we got to get help today.
Brian Perez: Kimmy, thanks for calling us today here on New Life Live. Stay on the phone and we'll put you in touch with one of our network counselors or therapists who can help you and your son during this time. And everyone who's watching or listening, you can keep Kimmy and her son in your prayers, if you would please. 1-800-229-3000 is the number to call today here at New Life Live. I'm here with Becky Brown and Dr. Alice Benton, and we're only going to be in the studio for one hour today and we're halfway through that hour right now. But you can still call in. We've got some calls on the board right now. Brent and Enoch. 1-800-229-3000 is our number. Can't wait to speak with you to put you on the path to New Life here on New Life Live. It's what we do. God bless you guys. We'll be back.
Guest (Male): Every day we hear from people all over the world who are looking for hope. They've been lost in a relationship struggle, addiction, anxiety, depression, all kinds of ways. Wouldn't you love to be part of a rescue team? Don't miss your opportunity to be part of something that changes lives every single day, because every one matters. Your generosity helps find them. And you know, we've seen God work in the lives of so many people over the years here at New Life, and we want to invite you to be part of what God is doing. 99 for the One is our partner program that you can give to the ministry on a monthly basis to make sure that we continue to reach out to the lost. Call 1-800-NEW-LIFE, 1-800-639-5433, or newlife.com/9941. Join the mission. Rescue the one and restore the many.
Brian Perez: To find out more information about New Life or to order any of the resources mentioned on today's program, call 1-800-NEW-LIFE. Now back to New Life Live. Dr. Alice Benton had one more thought for our previous caller I believe.
Dr. Alice Benton: Unfortunately, I think all of us parents of teenage and adolescent children, we actually need to ask our children proactively: have you had any thoughts of self-harm or suicide? Because it's becoming so prevalent. So parents, even if you're not seeing signs, I still recommend bringing this topic up. Play this radio show if you want to in order to give a background for why you're bringing it up. We need to be asking this question more frequently.
Brian Perez: For sure. Hey, really quick before we get to our next caller, want to remind you ladies that if betrayal is part of your story, you can join us the weekend of November 13th in Washington, DC. That's when the Restore: Healing After Betrayal workshop is happening. Without intervention, betrayal trauma erodes relationships, your ability to trust yourself, and your faith that God has a good plan for your life. This workshop provides what isolation cannot: clarity, tools, and the fierce support of women who refuse to let you settle for mere survival. You can get all the details at newlife.com or by calling 1-800-NEW-LIFE. And if you sign up in the next few weeks, you will get a discount. You can find out more about that at newlife.com. And now let's talk to Brent in Detroit, Michigan, who watches us on YouTube. Hey there Brent, welcome to New Life Live.
Brent: Hello. Thank you for having me. Well, I don't know where to begin. I just feel overwhelmed. My journey of starting to want to get my life in I guess a manner that would be pleasing to God started back in 2017 when I got into recovery and started seeing a certified sex addiction therapist who's also trauma-trained. And then seven months later, my ex decided to start the process of becoming my ex. A separation and divorce happened and I've had counseling on and off. But it all starts with childhood trauma a long, long time ago. Obviously, I'm 47 now, and I was sexually abused by a babysitter. And I started when I got into recovery, things were going well until COVID happened, and obviously that changed how support looked because of that happening. And I started wanting to date someone and thought I was ready but I did not know how to identify red flags and got catfished and scammed. And ever since that catfish and scam, I have not been able to get stable ground, it feels like. Like I'm behind on bills, I can't afford counseling. And that's why I finally gave in to my desire, especially after hearing a woman last night who had said that after someone in the family died, like it seems like nothing can go right ever since that person in the family died and the other siblings colluded to take her inheritance and she can see nothing but the bad. And I feel like that's where I am, and I guess that pushed me over the edge to finally decide to call today, even though I've been thinking about it for quite a few months now.
Becky Brown: Gosh Brent, I am so glad that you did call. You know, it's amazing what the pandemic did do to so many folks. And what I would encourage you today and what we tell so many people is if you had a meeting that you were going to, a recovery meeting, I would step back into that today. I would probably suggest an in-person meeting if you can. There is a powerful dynamic with us being in the room together as opposed to screens. Now I'm not anti-online groups, I just I hear the pain in your voice and I also know that your journey, I'm so grateful that you called today because it starts today. And I'm sure if you've listened long enough, you hear us talk about life recovery groups and all of those things. I also know that there are therapists that have accommodations. There's also some free options. I just think the most important thing you can do, Brent, is take the step into the recovery direction. It's not going to all get fixed today, but you have to have the people around you as you go forward. And it feels overwhelming right now. I know it does. I can hear it in your voice. And we were just talking last night, I was talking with a group of counselors about how recovery groups are such an important part of our journey because it's safe, it's honest, it's forgiving, you also hear others' voices who have also experienced the power of overcoming. And so this is a setback for you. I know that you're feeling disappointed. I can hear it. But is there an option for you to check into a recovery group today?
Brent: I actually went to a Celebrate Recovery meeting last night. I went to the large group meeting and they also have Hope for Mental Health because sometimes I'm torn between whether to focus on the maladaptive coping mechanisms that I tend to go to versus I also know that when I do actually sit and am present with my emotions that sometimes obviously I choose to invite God into that and or others that also love God and then don't even desire to go to the food or the adult material or games or doomscrolling. However you want to put those are name vices that I go to to distract me from being present with and inviting God in. At the same time I've been using the Pause app by John Eldredge at times more often, which has been helpful.
Becky Brown: Right. Well the challenge though, Brent, is you have to be with people. So I'm so grateful that you went to recovery last night. You could reach back out to the leadership of that group just to make a connection. And sometimes we get stifled in our growth because we try to figure out what to address first. That's what you just were describing. And what do we say in recovery? It's one step. So connection can be that first step and it's a journey. So that it's not like, "Okay, by Friday I'm going to have this all figured out and have a plan for the next 50 years of my life."
Brent: No bippity-boppity-boo.
Becky Brown: Exactly. Where are those fairy godmothers? I don't know. But Brent, I just I'm grateful that you went to the large group meeting. I would also encourage you to reach out to that leadership. It could make all the difference in the world.
Dr. Alice Benton: Brent, I come from a family of very hard workers and it went to my head and my workaholism is a source of pride, and so I think I should do everything myself and I should have it all handled. So it's very difficult for me to be humble enough to say, "Ah, I need help," and then to ask for free help or something like a sliding scale fee therapy. I will suffer rather than asking for the very help I need. Can you relate to that at all?
Brent: Yes, I can. At times I did get some free assistance from the Archdiocese of Saginaw when I used to live in mid-Michigan. They had some counseling available. It was a student in training, but it was helpful. But then that student graduated and got his hours and got a real job. And I used to also be able to go to the child and family services of Saginaw. It wasn't a Christian counselor, but at times I still found it helpful to be able to know that I could talk to someone and did have some good input.
Dr. Alice Benton: So Brent, I'm actually going to say you have a leg up on me because even if you do struggle with that, you don't let it stop you, and multiple times you have reentered into treatment and recovery. So I praise that you are doing that. I want to acknowledge that just as you were making progress back in 2017 and you probably were feeling good about your disclosures and your sobriety and what you were doing, and then your wife separates and divorces. Just as your recovery's really taking off. How unfair, how devastating. I don't even know how you held on to your recovery and your faith after that because where was God and why didn't the beauty of your recovery save your marriage? Did that devastate you?
Brent: Oh definitely. And my ex is actually a pastor in a mainstream denomination that just kind of made it hurt even more because the denomination didn't offer any like, "Hey, we have these resources." They didn't help you.
Dr. Alice Benton: So Brent, that tells me you were traumatized in your recovery and in the way your wife left. Now there is just wreckage from porn use and that's it's inevitable. And yet there's also trauma here. So getting back into not only recovery but trauma work over how the church, how your wife, a pastor, how they treated you I think will be essential in you recovering your sobriety as you have before.
Brian Perez: Brent, thanks for calling in today to New Life Live. We're going to be praying for you in your journey. We'll be back. To find out more information about New Life or to order any of the resources mentioned on today's program, visit newlife.com. Now back to New Life Live. We've helped so many people this week here at New Life Live. Just today it was Brent and Bruni and Kimmy and other calls earlier in the week. Lynn and Debbie and Nancy. So many people that we've been helping here at New Life and we want to continue helping as many people as call in, as many people as reach out to us on the website. And that's all done through your financial resources. So Becky, why should people give to New Life?
Becky Brown: Well, to go along with what you're saying, Brian, is that our listeners are impacted. Even as we hear the pressure that Brent is feeling in this place of overwhelm. He said, "I've been thinking about calling for the last couple days and I finally called today." And I wonder how you, listener, have been impacted by listening to New Life? We have been on this journey together for a long time, close to 40 years, answering calls of real-life people in real-life situations. And one such couple is celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and they're so grateful for how New Life stepped into their marriage and rescued and saved and helped them along their way that they are actually celebrating 50 years and are actually going to share New Life with the people that come to celebrate with them. But I just think, who are you sharing New Life with? Well, when you are part of our 99 for the One monthly giving partners, you can know that you are sharing the hope that God has for every person who hears the show, to find a resource, to be encouraged, that they're not alone. And I, what are you celebrating when you think about what God has done through New Life in your life and how are you supporting the ministry? In this day and age, and I alluded to AI earlier today, but and I've said this a couple times: if you haven't listened to the news lately, people are hurting. There are and Alice you referred to it earlier, where young people are really struggling with just self-worth and why should I stay alive? We want to continue to speak God's truth into this world, and because we're on a broadcast, people are hearing us all over the place at the time in which they can. It's not relegated to one hour. It is, you can hear us in different ways and that's what your support does. It helps us keep the message going out. You too can make a difference.
Brian Perez: That's right. You can go to newlife.com/9941 to find out more about becoming one of our 99 for the One partners. To celebrate your partnership, you'll receive a special 99 for the One welcome gift, including a 14-ounce coffee mug, a wooden coaster, a sticker, and a magnet. Get all the details online at newlife.com/9941. Let me say it again to make sure people get it right: newlife.com/9941. I got it wrong, so I want to make sure nobody types it in incorrectly. You can also make a one-time gift there at newlife.com or by texting NLM to 28950. Enoch in Blue Ridge, Georgia, who listens to us on Sirius XM Channel 131. Hey there Enoch, welcome.
Enoch: Hey thank you. Hey Alice, hey Becky, hey Brian. I have an interesting take on something from yesterday that was said by Dr. Jill. She was mentioning that your spouse can't be your only person that you have a friendship with. I said, "Well, marriage is not a friendship, it's a lot more than that." And so I agree with that. But I also, because I enjoy my time alone and my wife is with her friends and everything like that. And I found out last year I am autistic by listening to a Focus on the Family program where the guy was talking about a couple things and I go, "Oh, that explains everything." And so now I'm seeing an autistic counselor with my wife. But what was said was when Dr. Jill said the thing is that you have to have people outside. Well, with friendship might be to me is not friendship what might be to other people because I wasn't very social as a kid. I didn't ever fit in. I was shy, and I was very shy. I was allowed to eat in my room when company came over like half the time. And I was able to and I never thought anything different about it. When I was a kid, I became a Christian listening to Billy Graham when I was like 12 years old. I remember just praying for a wife, never for friends, because I never went to any kind of social stuff when you're 13, 14, when you start in middle school and all that stuff and high school. I never did anything. I mean anything.
Becky Brown: So Enoch, when you heard what Jill said, are you saying that that doesn't work for you, or are you wondering that maybe I'm supposed to be doing something different?
Enoch: Yeah, I mean it's either way. I mean have you seen a case where because there's always exceptions with our Father in heaven, and that is my friend because He gets me and He understands. And I've even given I've been retired for five years almost, and I do all the housework. I love doing I'm like a Brother Lawrence, I don't know if you've ever read about him.
Becky Brown: Yes, yes. Well, Enoch, but there's there are different relationships and we're all different, right? And so I love that you have awareness of who you are, and it sounds like you and your wife have a connected relationship. Am I right?
Enoch: Yeah, well I think it's like she doesn't understand, but I've been telling her all my life how different I grew up and everything. And she finally gets it now and she's a teacher because she sees autistic kids and now we're seeing an autistic to try to help that. Because I can connect, it's very easy for me to connect to people. I can connect to people, but I just don't need to see them often. You see, I'm a very friendly person.
Dr. Alice Benton: Enoch, I want to challenge you. I'm an introvert and I don't really want people to get close to me. But I was challenged when I realized that Jesus shows us an example of needing several people in our life so that we can help them in their time of need and so that we can give each other tough truth about our blind spots so that we can all be sanctified. And sanctification doesn't happen well alone, nor just in a marriage. It usually takes more people than that. So it's great that you're seeing this counselor. But I would suggest that your parents in allowing you to eat in your room when company came over, I think they enabled your shyness and perhaps gave a little more latitude than was good for you. Because even though you're good at being alone, to mature the side of you that is shy, I think it's important for you to push past your discomfort and to push past where your autism doesn't you don't feel much of a need for people. I believe you. But other people need you and your wife may need you to have other people as well. How do you take that from me?
Enoch: Okay, I understand what you're saying because I've always told my wife, "Honey, I don't mind going out with people occasionally, but it's so much because what I'm also an empath and HSP and when I get all this stuff coming at me, I need time alone because I pick up all this stuff from people. I did it at work, but I helped a lot of people at work, I mean with monetarily giving people rides, buying many lunches and stuff. And all I'm trying to say is it's just bizarre in the sense that I believe that I journal every day and I look at that and that is His. I believe that the Word of God is a miracle."
Dr. Alice Benton: Enoch, I'm going to interrupt just because we're coming to the end. Would you consider at least entering a men's group where the purpose is to know each other on an intimate level, to be able to serve and help like you've done beautifully before, so that you can live out the word in relationship outside of your marriage?
Enoch: Hello?
Brian Perez: Yeah, did you hear Alice's question?
Enoch: Yeah, yeah, I did. What I on that thing is I had a problem if you can listen to this real quick. When I was a kid...
Brian Perez: We're running out of time though, Enoch.
Dr. Alice Benton: We have New Life recovery groups that we can connect you with, Enoch, if you're willing to take on my challenge, because other men need you and the skills you have.
Brian Perez: Stay on the phone, Enoch, and we'll put you in touch with someone. God bless you all. Thank you so much for watching and listening. We will be back tomorrow with another episode of New Life Live.
Guest (Male): Thanks so much for listening. We hope something you heard will help you live in freedom today. If this content was helpful for you, we would love it if you would take a minute, leave a review, post about it, and rate it. Remember, we have resources and workshops online for you as you continue your journey. Go to newlife.com to find out more information. And thank you for being part of the New Life community. We know that God desires all of us to live a life of wholeness and healing, and we're so glad that you're here.